Tips for a Friendly Church

After moving to a new town, it was time to find a new church. Going from church to church, and simply feeling like an outcast who no one cared about I began thinking of some simple ways to make our churches more friendly and welcoming to everyone.

1. If you see someone you don’t know, get to know them. Sounds obvious, right? But I have walked into one church after another and almost no one even said hello. Even when they did it was not in a loving way but they did it in more of a way as if they felt obligated to say hello.

Tip – ask them about churches they have been to in the past, things they like food they like

Tip – do not just talk to them the first day they come and ignore them the next

Tip – Invite them out to eat or to your house.

2.Don’t just tell them where things are show them! If they have children take them to the nursery, and introduce them to the nursery workers. If they just need a seat you can lead them into the sanctuary or the class they need to be in. I have walked into way too many churches where I just got lost. I didn’t know what class I needed to be in and I didn’t know where to take my children. It made me want to just walk out of the church and leave.

3.Have someone outside of the church to help people know where to go. Sometimes when you are going to a new church you do not know what building to walk into. You end up at the children class then you end up walking into service late which when visiting a new church is never fun.

4. Something that God has to be doing in you, love the people who walk in the doors. I can always tell the difference when a church has true love and when they are just trying to increase the number of people who come. Pray that God gives you a love for everyone who walks in the door.

5. I know I said this in the first point, but make sure that you are not just friendly the first time they come. Show them that you actually care by greeting them when they walk in the door and talking to them every day they come. One church I went to the first day everyone was so friendly everyone said hello and talked to me. I decided to go back the next week because everyone was nice. How many people said hello? Not even one!

6. Don’t assume that someone else is going to say hello. When you see someone you don’t know do not leave it up to someone else to talk to them. Go to them hoping that you make a new lifelong friend.

7. Start a class for everyone who is a member of the church teaching them how to respond to new visitors. Sometimes it is not that people do not want to be friendly, they simply do not know how.T

Tip- Assign people to be greeters. I do not mean the people who stand at the door to say hello to everyone, but people in the church who are very good at making people feel welcome have them go talk to people in their seats. They may just talk to one or two people.

All I Need is You

Love too Great

I have come to know

Love so pure

It is mine to keep

The love I thought was too great to be

Well that love now lives inside of me

This love came in the form of a man

Healing, cleansing, freeing all

With a love so great

What would you think

This one should be exalted

In this life He lived

But that was not his fate

He lived a life of pain

He suffered for the hurting

And the hurting caused his pain

So now that this love, It lives inside of me

What should I expect to see

A life with much, with riches great

No, that is not my fate

A life of pain and suffering

But the joy, oh it is great

For this love that lives inside of me

Yes, He is all I need

Life led by a sinful man.

In my hands

My own I thought

Captured by this one

Caught up in these things

I was told would bring me joy

When none came, I was told I needed more

More I acquired, still more was needed

Closer to the goal I thought, but further I was taken

Lost and confused by things I didn’t understand

Why was it always more

Why could I not obtain

Still, on I continued to fight

Fight, for things that would bring

This thing I so desired

To bring the joy I thought was near

When deeper in sorrow

I was told end it

End it all, and be free

When I looked around me I could see

Nothing was there worth the fight

No joy was here

So yes, listen to this voice

But still another came to me

I was told to leave what was to bring joy

And was showed another source

Leave what I had worked towards

This One He now explained to me what death would surely  be

He showed me the deceit in what beyond my blinded eyesI was not my own

I was not my own

but owned by sin indeed

The chains around me now were clear

The enemy was now revealed

This One He offered freedom

But how and why

I was not one to be considered worthy

Yet, He said the price was paid

He said though I’m not worthy

He would make me new

He would give me worth

Yes, He has given worth

Heaven or God?

Becoming a Christian, this is something that in church we want to see happen to people we want to see them become a Christian. But why… so often the thing I see in churches today, they want to see people become Christians so they will be saved from hell, or that they will go to heaven. Here is where I think we are so often missing the mark.

Now look at your life, why did you become a Christian? Was it for one of the reasons I mentioned? Now if you become a Christian, to be saved from judgment, then why did you become a Christian? It is simple; you became a Christian, so that you could receive the gift that God gives. If you became a Christian for the gift, and the gift is what you desire, then you are missing out! What you need to see is that the best gift is not what things God gives, but God!! Being a Christian is about having a relationship with God! So often you hear in churches about heaven, and so much less you hear about what heaven is, and that is to be with God.

If we explain to someone that we want to then to become a Christian so they go to heaven, then we are pointing them to God’s gift, and not God. Jesus did not die on the cross so you could go to heaven!!! He died so that we could have a relationship with Him, and that is so much better than this makeshift heaven that we have made up in our heads, that is all about us having things. It is about us knowing the Creator of all things!

Now this changes a lot!! People who want to say, well I will get right with God later, and enjoy my life now, just doesn’t work!! Why is this? It is because heaven is about having a relationship with God, and if we are looking for that relationship, and not the gifts, then we will desire that relationship now. When one understands the great joy of knowing God they do not want to wait to know God, but to build that relationship now. If your desire is for God, and not His gifts, then work towards knowing Him more now

John 17:3 “And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent”

The Heart of Gossip

Gossip, even among Christians seems to be the most common topic. Instead of helping build each other up and help lead others to Christ, often we chose to talk about what he is doing or what we just heard about so and so. Why is this? Why do we as Christians feel such a need to talk bad about each other. I can remember being in church and listening to people talk about my family. I would sit back knowing there was really not much I could do about it. It made me want to leave the church. No one wants to go somewhere to hear roomers spread about them, no madder if they are true are not.

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

This is the way that I think it is for so many, they are trying to come to God but another “Christian” is talking about them. Well, the church must be no different than everyone else. Right? So what do they do? Leave. By talking about people and not being able to control our mouths we can literally be affecting someone’s eternity. I am not saying that if someone is doing something against God that we need to just ignore it, but we do not need to be talking bad about them to other people. Instead what we need to do is confront them, not in a mean or rude way but in a way that shows that we care about them. We need to be willing to humbly come to them, for their own good. And offer out help!

Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble”

If you are constantly feeling the need to gossip, then you need to look at your own heart. You are falling away from God’s plan for you. You should seek God’s forgiveness and pray that God changes your heart. There is very likely a bigger problem in your life then the person who you are talking about.

James 1:26 “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless”

What should you do if you are hearing someone else gossip? There are a couple good things you can do. One is when they are talking about someone you can simply change the topic. Two, you can confront the person who is gossiping in a humble way. Three, you can simply leave the conversation, or try to find new people to hang out with. Four, something very important that we should do for anyone who we hear gossiping is pray for them. Pray that God will show them their sins and that they will turn from it.

2 Timothy 2:16 “But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness”

Matthew 12:36″I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak”

Let’s begin working towards God plan for our lives and make conversation that will build up instead of teardown others. So the love of Christ is shown through your everyday conversation.

That’s between me and God…

What does it mean to confess your sins? Does God simply say confess our sins to Him. We are to do nothing after that? So often in churches I hear the pastor or teacher say “it is just between you and God” seems good right? The only One who needs to know our struggles is God? We do not need other people judging us because of the sins we have committed? Well this is often the way the church seems to look at it but I want to stop looking at the way that seems right in church today and answer the question, what does the Bible say?

From the Bible we seem to get a completely different out look on confession. When we take a look at James 5:16 we see something different. He does not speak of hiding our sins and dealing with them on our own but rather bring others in to help us.

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”

We do not need to tell others about our sins to boast that we are sinning but so that they can pray for us, and help bring us closer to Christ, by getting rid of that sin. When we become a Christian we become a part of the body of Christ, and when one part of the body is hurting the whole body suffers.

1 Corinthians 12:26 “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it”

When we hide the sin in our life then all we are doing is separating ourselves from the body that we are a part of. Who does that help? No one, but when we are willing to admit our faults and failures then the whole body is able to gather and help make the body like new again.

Might people judge you for the things you have done? Well yes, but the true believer will care for you and help to bring you back to Christ. Why? because as Christians we are no longer separate bodies but as I said before, we are one. Who doesn’t care about himself (Ephesians 5:29) well no one. I am not saying that confession is going to be an easy thing, but what I am saying is that we need it. We need to do everything that we can to keep ourselves (and the body ) holy.

We must walk in the light not hiding in the darkness the sins that we do not want for others to see. When you are sharing our sins with other believers this will help you to build up the fellowship that we are to have with each other. Sharing our struggles is so important for us and for those who we share them with because when one shares, others feel as if they can open up as well, and we are able to help one another. We were made to be the body together not on our own. God did not intend for us to try to battle these things alone, but he gave us each other so that we could help one another and bring each other closer to God. And we can’t truly help one another if we separate ourselves from each other hiding the things that are hardest for us to overcome.

1 John 1:7 ” But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”

Not, only will confession help you and your failures, but it helps others to feel at if they can be open with there struggles. They will see that you are willing to share your struggles and they may be able to help you  and you may be able to help them, with the things they struggle with. It seems that everyone wants everyone else to believe that they are perfect, but we know we are not ” no one is righteous” While it may be easy for you to admit you are a sinner it seems so much  harder to admit our actual struggles. So be willing to admit where you struggle, and work towards over coming together not alone.

Four Reasons Why Not to Give


1. They are just going to spend the money on drugs

Yes, there is a chance when you are giving money to some one you do not know they could spend it on something that you would never want them to have in the first place. Whew, don’t have to give, just shrug off that bit of a guilty feeling. But stop and ask yourself this question “am I not giving to help them by keeping them away from drugs or just as an excuse not to give”. Most the time I fiend it is probably just more of an excuse. If you want to keep them safe then you can offer them help other ways then just giving them cash. Idea, if you are really worried about drugs buy gift cards to restaurants to keep with you.  Just because we think they may use the money wrong does not mean we are free from following God’s command to give.

Matthew 5:42 “Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow”

2. They Should just get a job

Yes, getting a job is good but you can’t always do that. Lets face it there are many people all over who just can’t get a job. Maybe they are just having a hard time for now and need a little help. Either way that does not change the fact that God tells us to do what? Give.

3. I just do not think God is telling me to give

This is by far my least favorite excuse! Why? Because God HAS called you to give, over and over in the Bible God says “give give give”. God should not need to give you a deep conviction “feeling” every time you give to someone. We are to obey what He says in the Bible.

Maybe when God says “give to everyone who asks” He really meant “give to everyone who asks if you are really feeling convicted” No, as Christians it should just be natural to give. It should be a part of who we are. We should not need to think about it because we are just doing it.

Philippians 2:4 “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

4. My family comes first or I do not have enough money

Yup.. I have fallen in to this one. I was staying home with our child and my husband gets a lower paying job. I am sitting there stressing out about how we are going to pay the bills, and he is just like “lets start giving more”. Not what I was really thinking! Anyways I knew I needed to because well that is what they Bible says to do. We never ran out of money! Lets just face it, giving is not what is going to hurt you and your family. What is really going to hurt your family is greed.

Proverbs 28:27 “Those who give to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses.”

There is always going to be some reason or excuse why you “can’t” give. There will always be some excuse that sounds good, but when it comes down to it, if we want to be obedient followers of Christ we MUST give to others. Loving them not just through word but action.